The score is a signal, not a verdict
A readiness score is designed to make patterns easier to see. It should start a better conversation, not declare whether a relationship will succeed or fail.
Assessment Methodology
What a readiness score can tell you, and what it cannot.
The Things I Wish Someone Told Me assessments are practical relationship-education tools. They are built to surface questions, expectations and pressure points before a major decision, then turn a score into a conversation you can actually have.
Conversation matters more than the number
Two people can receive the same numerical band for very different reasons. The practical value comes from identifying which expectations, assumptions or decisions still need to be discussed.
This is relationship education
The assessments are not clinical, psychiatric or psychometric diagnostic instruments and are not a substitute for therapy, safeguarding support or professional legal, financial or medical advice.
Answer the relationship you actually have
Results are only as useful as the answers provided. The assessment works best when respondents answer for present reality rather than the relationship they hope to have or the answer they think a partner wants.
The 0–100 framework
Four result bands turn a number into a next step.
For the Move-In Readiness Assessment, your answers produce a 0–100 result in one of the four bands below. These labels describe reported preparation for conversations, not a statistical likelihood of success. A higher score is not a guarantee of readiness, compatibility or safety.
0–39
Do Not Move In Yet
There are important areas that need clarity before a major shared commitment.
40–59
Too Many Unanswered Questions
The issue is not necessarily incompatibility. Too much important information is still unresolved.
60–79
Ready, But Talk First
There is meaningful readiness, alongside conversations worth completing before the decision.
80–100
Strong Readiness
A high level of clarity is present, while recognising that no score removes the need for ongoing communication.
Our other assessments
A conversation clarity index, not a readiness verdict.
The seven self-paced assessments for dating, engagement, marriage, money, trust, parenthood, and deciding whether to stay or leave use a simpler, explicitly author-created scoring method. Each has 25 questions divided into five topics. Every answer receives 0, 1, 2, 3 or 4 points according to how thoroughly you believe you have considered that issue. Five topics therefore contribute 20 points each, making a possible total of 100.
These checklists have not been validated as clinical or psychometric instruments. The number does not tell you whether to marry, break up, stay with a partner or have children. In particular, discussing a dangerous or unhealthy behaviour does not make it safe. Their purpose is to help identify topics that need a clearer, independent decision or conversation.
These newer assessments display a result immediately in your browser. Their answers are not saved to your account or emailed to us. The existing Tally Move-In questionnaire has a different delivery method and still sends its result by email.
Browse all assessmentsWhat we are trying to surface
Clarity before commitment.
Expectations that have been assumed rather than agreed.
Important subjects one or both people may be postponing.
Differences that need a plan rather than wishful thinking.
Areas where both people already have useful alignment.
Important limitations
A score cannot know your whole relationship.
No short questionnaire can observe how two people behave over time, identify abuse or coercive control reliably, diagnose mental-health conditions, or determine whether a legal or financial arrangement is safe. If your situation involves fear, violence, coercion, serious mental-health concerns or complex legal or financial risk, use qualified professional support rather than relying on an online score.
Use the tool
Take the score, then have the conversation it points to.
The free Move-In Readiness Assessment takes about five minutes and gives you a result band with a practical next conversation.
Take the Free Assessment