Free · Five conversations · Self-paced

Before you move in together, have the conversations that matter.

Moving in is about more than having a key to the same front door. In five practical conversations, explore what you both expect from commitment, money, everyday life, conflict and the future.

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Why this matters

Love can be real. The practical questions can still be unanswered.

One of you may see moving in as a step toward marriage. The other may see it as a way to reduce expenses. You might agree to split the bills without ever discussing debt, privacy, family boundaries or what happens if things change.

Those differences are not automatically reasons to end a relationship. They are reasons to get clearer before making a shared commitment.

This challenge helps you replace assumptions with questions you can actually answer.

Evan Evans, author and relationship educator

Why I wrote these questions

I know what it is like to realise some conversations should have happened earlier.

I moved in with the woman who became my first wife without asking many of the questions I now believe matter before you share a life. As our work, marriage, parenting and responsibilities developed, expectations that had never been discussed became harder to ignore.

That experience is part of why I created Things I Wish Someone Told Me. I cannot tell you what decision to make, but I can offer a more deliberate way to discuss it.

Evan Evans · Author and relationship educator

Five days. Five real conversations.

Each day gives you a subject, three questions and one small written action. Take a day between conversations if you need to. There is no race to finish.

Day

The decision

Why are we moving in together?

Sharing a home can feel like a natural next step. It is worth checking whether you both mean the same thing by it.

Talk about these questions

1.What are our separate reasons for wanting to move in now?
2.What would make either of us want to delay the decision?
3.What do we each expect will change about the relationship?

Your action

Each of you writes one honest reason to move forward and one concern you still have. Compare them without trying to win the argument.

Day

Money

What exactly are we agreeing to pay for?

A conversation about money needs to get more specific than saying you will split things fairly.

Talk about these questions

1.Who pays the rent, bills, groceries, deposits and unexpected repairs?
2.How will we handle unequal income or a temporary loss of work?
3.What belongs to one person, and what will we buy together?

Your action

Write down the proposed monthly costs, the person responsible for each, and what happens if one payment cannot be made.

Day

Daily life

Whose habits become our shared routine?

Chores, sleep, privacy, family visits and personal space are small until they become everyday friction.

Talk about these questions

1.Which household tasks will each of us take responsibility for?
2.When do we need time alone, and how will we ask for it?
3.What boundaries do we want around visitors, relatives and devices?

Your action

Agree on two routines you want to keep, two you need to negotiate and one boundary you want respected.

Day

Conflict

What happens when we disagree at home?

You will not always feel generous or understood. Discussing how you repair conflict is different from promising never to argue.

Talk about these questions

1.What do we each do when we are upset or overwhelmed?
2.How do we take space without using silence as punishment?
3.What does a useful apology and repair look like to each of us?

Your action

Write a short conflict agreement, including when to pause, when to return to the conversation and what behaviour is unacceptable.

Day

The future

What is the plan if life changes?

A shared address is a practical commitment. It deserves a conversation about what comes next and what happens if the arrangement no longer works.

Talk about these questions

1.How do we see this arrangement fitting into our longer-term plans?
2.What happens if one of us needs to move, change jobs or support family?
3.If we separate, how will we handle the home, shared possessions and existing obligations?

Your action

List what you already agree on, what still needs a decision and what legal or financial questions need qualified advice.

When you finish, don't just ask, "Are we ready?" Ask, "What have we actually agreed, and what still needs a plan?"

Take the free readiness assessment

25 Conversations Before Moving In Together — digital workbook

The next step if you need more

Five conversations can start the process. Twenty-five can help you go deeper.

The 25 Conversations Before Moving In Together digital workbook is a guided 64-page PDF. It provides structured questions, space for individual reflection and a place to capture shared decisions about money, conflict, intimacy, family, household life and the future.

64-page digital PDF

25 structured conversations

Reflection space for both partners

Agreements to capture together

Optional paid resource

$25

One-time purchase. This free challenge does not require you to buy it.

Read the full product details and refund terms

Secure Stripe checkout. Digital delivery after successful payment.

What happens next?

Choose the help that fits your decision.

Not everyone needs the same next step. You can begin with a free assessment, work independently with the workbook or enquire about private coaching.

Get a starting picture

Take the free 25-question readiness assessment and receive a result band with suggested next conversations.

Take the assessment

Work through the details

Use the 25 Conversations workbook to document what you each think and agree on.

Explore the workbook

Talk through a complex decision

Explore private relationship decision coaching when you need support working through a bigger situation.

Explore coaching

Before you begin

A few useful answers.

This is practical relationship education, not a test you can pass or fail. The aim is to make the next conversation more honest.

Does the challenge cost anything?

No. The five conversations on this page are free. No account, payment details or email signup is required to use them.

Is it a live event?

No. This version is self-paced. You can follow one conversation a day or take more time when a subject needs it. There is no live session, deadline or promised replay.

What if my partner does not want to do it?

You can begin by reflecting on the questions yourself. A shared decision needs both people to have a genuine opportunity to express their expectations.

What is the difference between this and the paid workbook?

This free challenge covers five starting conversations. The digital workbook is a separate 64-page resource with 25 structured conversations, prompts, reflection space and places to record agreements.

Is this counselling or a compatibility test?

No. It is relationship education to help you identify questions worth discussing. It cannot predict relationship success or replace professional safeguarding, legal, financial or mental-health advice.

The right time for these conversations is before the move.

Start with Day 1. Give each other room to answer. Write down the decisions you are actually making.

Begin Day 1