Field Notes
The conversations most couples wish they'd had earlier.
Practical, evidence-informed essays on the decisions that quietly shape a relationship: moving in, money, conflict, trust, commitment, and the ones nobody warns you about.
The library
8
articles · updated regularly · by Evan Evans
Attraction & Desire
On attraction & desire
Each piece is designed to leave you with something to recognise, discuss or do, not just another relationship opinion to consume.
When You Love Them but No Longer Desire Them
Love and sexual desire do not always move together. This guide helps you identify what changed before you decide what the change means.
Why Familiarity Sometimes Kills Attraction
Familiarity can reduce novelty, but it does not have to kill attraction. Learn where routine helps love and where it quietly flattens desire.
Attraction, Admiration and Respect: Why Desire Needs More Than Love
Desire is easier to sustain when attraction is joined by admiration and respect. This piece examines what happens when one of those three disappears.
Why You Want Them More When They Pull Away
Distance can intensify desire, but wanting someone more when they pull away is not proof of compatibility. Learn what the chase is doing to your judgement.
When Your Partner Feels More Like Family Than a Lover
When a partner starts feeling more like family than a lover, closeness may remain while erotic connection fades. Here is how to understand the change without panic.
Can Attraction Come Back After It Has Gone?
Attraction sometimes returns, but not through pressure or pretending. Learn which losses of desire are more responsive to change and which signal a deeper shift.
The Desire Audit: What Is Really Missing Between You?
Before you say the spark is gone, identify exactly what is missing. This desire audit separates attraction, admiration, safety, novelty, touch and sexual connection.
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