Field Notes
The conversations most couples wish they'd had earlier.
Practical, evidence-informed essays on the decisions that quietly shape a relationship: moving in, money, conflict, trust, commitment, and the ones nobody warns you about.
The library
12
articles · updated regularly · by Evan Evans
Relationship Foundations
On relationship foundations
Each piece is designed to leave you with something to recognise, discuss or do, not just another relationship opinion to consume.
The Relationship Health Map: What Actually Makes a Relationship Work?
Most relationship problems do not live in one neat category. This practical map helps you examine trust, commitment, connection, conflict, fairness, respect, intimacy and autonomy without reducing your relationship to a single label.
Is This Relationship Healthy, or Does It Only Feel Familiar?
Familiarity can feel safe even when a relationship is unhealthy. Learn how to separate comfort, history and attachment from the evidence of a healthy partnership.
Are You Loving Each Other or Trading With Each Other?
Tony Robbins describes three levels of relationship: selfish, conditional and unconditional. The useful question is not which label sounds best. It is what happens between you when giving, fairness, sacrifice and reciprocity get tested in real life.
Love Is Not Enough: The Eight Things a Relationship Still Needs
Love matters, but love alone does not run a relationship. This guide identifies eight other things a lasting partnership still needs.
The Six Needs Hiding Under Almost Every Relationship Argument
Tony Robbins teaches that people organise much of their behaviour around six human needs. The framework is not established psychological science, but it can become a useful relationship lens when you translate each need into observable behaviour and compare it with what research says about autonomy, relatedness and relationship functioning.
Are You Building a Relationship, or Maintaining an Arrangement?
Some couples stop building and start operating. Learn how to tell whether you still have a relationship or mainly an arrangement that keeps life moving.
Your Love Language Is Not the Whole Story
Love languages gave millions of people an easy vocabulary for affection. The research does not strongly support the idea that everybody has one primary language that a partner must match. A more useful question is whether your relationship has enough range, responsiveness and accountability for love to be recognisable when life gets difficult.
The Invisible Contract: What You Both Agreed to Without Ever Saying It
Every couple has unwritten rules. Problems begin when each person is living by a different invisible contract and assuming the other agreed.
When the Relationship Looks Fine but Feels Wrong
A relationship can look stable on paper and still feel wrong inside. This guide helps you investigate the feeling without dismissing it or treating it as automatic proof.
Compatibility Is More Than Chemistry: The Full Relationship Compatibility Audit
Chemistry answers whether you are drawn to someone. Compatibility answers whether the two of you can build a life that works.
The Relationship Operating System: How Two People Actually Build a Life Together
Strong relationships need an operating system, clear agreements for decisions, money, conflict, intimacy, household life and the future.
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