Field Notes
The conversations most couples wish they'd had earlier.
Practical, evidence-informed essays on the decisions that quietly shape a relationship: moving in, money, conflict, trust, commitment, and the ones nobody warns you about.
The library
113
articles 路 updated regularly 路 by Evan Evans
Guided Pathways
Start with the problem you are trying to solve.
Trust has been broken
Rebuilding after cheating, secrecy or betrayal.
Follow this pathwayI am dating and deciding whether to get serious
Exclusivity, red flags, chemistry, compatibility and choosing without losing yourself.
Follow this pathwayWe are thinking seriously about marriage
Readiness, engagement, doubts, money, family, faith and the future before the wedding.
Follow this pathwayI keep excusing red flags
Control, contempt, power, attachment and the difference between unhealthy patterns and ordinary imperfection.
Follow this pathwayWe keep having the same argument
Conflict patterns, repair and communication.
Follow this pathwayI do not know whether to stay
Clarity when leaving and staying both feel difficult.
Follow this pathwayMoney is becoming a relationship issue
Disclosure, debt, contribution, income gaps, dependency and financial power.
Follow this pathwayWe are thinking of moving in
Money, privacy, expectations and sharing a home.
Follow this pathwayChildren are part of the relationship
Dating, parenting, exes and blended-family pressure.
Follow this pathwayOur intimacy has changed
Desire, rejection, closeness and sexual expectations.
Follow this pathwayThe Library
More field notes
Each piece is designed to leave you with something to recognise, discuss or do, not just another relationship opinion to consume.
When Your Family Does Not Accept Your Partner
Family disapproval can reveal prejudice, genuine concern or fear of change. Your job is to separate evidence from pressure and decide where the couple's boundaries belong.
Religious Differences in Relationships: What Matters Before Marriage
Religious difference becomes practical before marriage. Couples need to discuss worship, children, sex, money, community and whether respect is enough for the home they want.
Interracial Relationships and the Pressure Nobody Talks About
Interracial couples can face pressures the relationship did not create: family prejudice, public assumptions, identity differences and unequal experiences of racism. Ignoring those pressures does not make them disappear.
When One Partner Has More Life Experience, Money or Social Power
Differences in age, money, status or experience can create hidden relationship power. The key question is whether the less powerful partner still has real voice and freedom.
Can Different Cultures Build One Household?
Two cultures can share one home when the couple decides what belongs in that household instead of letting either extended family write the rules by default.
The Difference Audit: Which Differences Enrich the Relationship and Which Ones Threaten It?
Not every difference is a compatibility problem. This audit helps couples sort enriching differences, manageable differences and differences that threaten the life they want.
How Do You Know When a Relationship Is Over?
A relationship can be struggling without being finished. Learn how to examine willingness, trust, compatibility, one-sided effort and the future before deciding whether the relationship is actually over.
Should I Stay Because We Have History?
History matters, but time already invested is not automatically evidence that the future still works. Separate shared history from sunk cost and future compatibility.
When Is Another Chance Worth Giving?
Another chance is meaningful only when there is evidence that the next relationship will be different from the one that broke. Learn what real change looks like before you restart.
Should You Stay for the Children?
Staying for children is not a simple moral answer. Compare the real family environment created by staying with the realistic family system separation would require.
What If You Still Love Them but Know You Should Leave?
You can still love someone and know the relationship no longer works. Separate attachment, grief and love from the practical question of whether a shared life is viable.
Can a Relationship Recover After Years of Resentment?
Years of resentment can sometimes be repaired, but only when the system creating the debt changes. Audit acknowledgement, restitution, contempt and whether both people still want closeness.
What Happens When One Person Is Carrying the Entire Relationship?
Temporary imbalance is normal. Permanent one-person relationship management is different. Audit practical ownership, invisible labour, emotional work and whether the relationship can rebalance.
The Stay-or-Leave Decision Audit: What You Need to Know Before You Decide
A structured stay-or-leave audit covering safety, trust, respect, effort, compatibility, repair, intimacy, identity, future plans and the practical realities of both choices.
What Are Real Relationship Red Flags?
A red flag is not something you simply dislike. Learn how to separate preference, incompatibility, warning patterns and genuine danger before attraction or fear makes the decision for you.
How Do I Know If I Should Marry Someone?
Marriage readiness is not perfect certainty. It is knowing enough about love, money, children, sex, faith, family, location, health and conflict to make a deliberate commitment.
Should We Become Exclusive?
Exclusivity should be spoken, not assumed. Before you stop dating other people, get clear about chemistry, compatibility, cheating, phones, exes, sexual health and what you are actually agreeing to.
Moving In Together?
Do not guess whether you are ready to share a home.
Take the free 5-minute Move-In Readiness Assessment for a personalised score and the conversations that deserve your attention before you move.